Paper 83 Overview: The Marriage Institution

This paper traces the evolutionary trajectory of marriage from its primitive beginnings through various cultural adaptations to the establishment of stable pair bonds that form the foundation of home and family. Throughout human history, marriage has progressed steadily from promiscuous herd matings through numerous variations and adaptations, ultimately culminating in the standards of one-man-one-woman unions designed to establish homes of high social order. While marriage has frequently faced existential challenges, it has drawn support from both property considerations and religious sanctions, which have helped stabilize this foundational institution across diverse cultures and historical periods.

The most profound safeguard preserving marriage and the resultant family lies not in complex social structures or religious doctrines but in the innate biological imperative that men and women positively will not live without each other. This fundamental reality transcends cultural sophistication, binding together both primitive savages and cultured civilizations. The often-unacknowledged influence of the sex urge compels naturally selfish humans to transcend their self-interests, as the initially self-regarding and self-gratifying sexual relationships inevitably entail self-denial and the assumption of altruistic duties that benefit the entire human race. Thus, the sex impulse serves as an unheralded civilizing influence, automatically compelling humans toward deeper thought and eventually toward experiences of genuine love.

This paper recounts the early beginnings of the institution of marriage, documenting its steady progression from the loose and promiscuous matings of the herd through many variations and adaptations, eventually culminating in those marriage standards that led to the realization of pair matings, the union of one man and one woman establishing a home of the highest social order. Marriage has frequently been in jeopardy throughout human history, requiring substantial support from both property customs and religious influences to maintain stability against various threats to its continuance.

The fundamental safeguard that consistently preserves marriage and the resultant family structure is the simple yet profound biological fact that men and women positively cannot live without each other, regardless of their cultural sophistication. This reality applies equally to primitive savages and highly cultured mortals. The sex urge transforms selfish individuals by compelling them to create something better than mere animal existence. The self-gratifying aspects of sexual relationships inevitably lead to self-denial and the acceptance of numerous altruistic duties and home responsibilities that benefit the entire race. In this manner, sex has functioned as an unrecognized and unsuspected civilizer of primitive humanity, automatically compelling deeper thought processes that eventually lead individuals toward experiences of genuine love.

Marriage functions as society's carefully designed mechanism for regulating and controlling the numerous human relationships arising from the physical fact of bisexuality. As a social institution, marriage operates in two distinct directions: it regulates personal sexual relations between men and women, and it manages matters of descent, inheritance, succession, and social order. The family, which naturally grows from the marriage relationship, serves as a stabilizing influence on the marriage institution itself, working alongside property customs to strengthen the marital bond. Additional factors contributing to marriage stability include pride, vanity, chivalry, duty, and religious convictions, all of which reinforce the commitment between partners.

Marriage, while approved or disapproved by religious authorities, remains fundamentally a sociologic development rather than a divinely established institution. Early marriage arrangements were primarily industrial in nature, but through the influence of Andite genetic contributions and the advancing mores of civilization, marriage gradually incorporated mutual, romantic, parental, poetical, affectionate, ethical, and idealistic elements. Selection based on personal preference and what might be termed romantic love were minimal factors in primitive mating practices, as husband and wife rarely spent significant time together. Among ancient peoples, personal affection was not strongly connected to sexual attraction; couples developed fondness primarily through the practical experience of living and working together rather than through romantic idealization of their partners or their relationship.

Primitive marriages were invariably planned by the parents of the young couple, with no consideration given to the preferences or compatibility of the prospective partners. The transition from this parental arrangement to the era of free choice occurred gradually, facilitated by professional matchmakers who served as intermediaries. These matchmakers were initially barbers and later priests, who helped negotiate suitable unions according to family interests. Early approaches to marriage involved coercion rather than attraction, as women possessed no sense of sexual aloofness but rather an ingrained sense of inferiority instilled by cultural customs. The practice of marriage by capture preceded marriage by contract, with some women actually conniving to be captured by men of their own age from other tribes to escape the domination of older men in their own communities.

The involvement of women in the courtship and marriage process increased steadily as civilization progressed, with females gaining more freedom in all phases of the relationship. The infusion of Andite genetic contributions significantly enhanced concepts of romantic love and personal selection in premarital courtship across the world's races. Gradually, advanced peoples began substituting idealized concepts of sexual attraction for utilitarian motives, allowing emotional bonds and affection to displace the cold calculations that had previously dominated mate selection. The betrothal period (engagement) was originally equivalent to marriage itself, with sexual relations considered conventional during this time. However, as religious influences strengthened, a sexual taboo was established for the period between betrothal and the formal marriage ceremony, creating a clearer distinction between these relationship stages.

The ancient peoples fundamentally mistrusted promises and emotional declarations as foundations for permanent relationships, believing that enduring unions required tangible security in the form of property exchanges. The purchase price of a wife was conceptualized as a forfeit or deposit that the husband would inevitably lose should he abandon or divorce his spouse. Once this bride price had been paid, many tribes permitted the husband to physically brand his wife as visible evidence of ownership. While love-based partnerships were increasing in some cultures, in many African societies, wives were still purchased, with natives comparing a love wife to a cat because she cost nothing, implying that something obtained without cost held questionable value.

The bride shows where daughters were exhibited publicly were designed to secure higher prices for these young women as potential wives. However, even in these property-oriented arrangements, the partnerships were not simply cold-blooded financial transactions. Service could substitute for cash in purchasing a wife, and if a desirable man lacked sufficient resources to pay for his bride, he might be adopted as a son by the girl's father to facilitate the marriage. As civilization advanced, fathers became uncomfortable with the appearance of selling their daughters and introduced the custom of giving valuable gifts to the couple, approximately equaling the original purchase price. This practice evolved into the dowry system, conveying the impression of the bride's independence and signifying the society's movement beyond the era of slave wives and property companions.

The underlying purpose of the dowry was to establish the bride's economic independence and to provide a measure of security, as a man could not divorce a dowered wife without returning the full dowry amount. In some cultures, both families made mutual deposits that would be forfeited if either partner abandoned the other, essentially creating a financial marriage bond. During this transitional period from purchase to dowry systems, when wives were directly purchased, children belonged to the father; if no purchase was involved, children belonged to the wife's family, reflecting the economic foundations of family structure during these developmental phases.

The wedding ceremony emerged from the recognition that marriage fundamentally represented a community concern rather than merely the culmination of a decision between two individuals. Mating was considered relevant to group welfare as well as individual fulfillment, making it appropriate for communal recognition and regulation. Magic, ritual, and ceremony pervaded all aspects of ancient life, and marriage proved no exception to this pattern. As civilization advanced and marriage gained greater social significance, the wedding ceremony became increasingly elaborate and formalized to reflect its importance to both the couple and the larger community.

Early marriage functioned as a significant factor in property interests, much as it continues to do today, necessitating legal ceremony and documentation. The absence of written records in primitive societies required that marriage ceremonies be witnessed by numerous community members to establish social legitimacy. The earliest wedding ceremonies were essentially formal betrothal announcements, simply providing public notification of the couple's intention to live together. Later ceremonies incorporated formal meals shared by the couple, while some tribes dispensed with formalities entirely, considering marriage consummated through sexual relations. The North American indigenous peoples were among the first to develop more elaborate wedding celebrations, establishing a pattern that would influence later cultural practices.

Many wedding traditions originated from magical or religious concerns, particularly fears of infertility. Since childlessness was greatly dreaded and attributed to spiritual interference, elaborate ceremonies developed to ensure fertility and successful reproduction. Efforts to guarantee fertility led to associations between marriage and various magical or religious rituals, including consultation with astrologers to determine auspicious timing based on the birth stars of the prospective partners. Ancient wedding customs such as throwing grain upon newlyweds (symbolizing fertility), lighting candles, sprinkling holy water, establishing false wedding dates to confuse spirits, and wearing bridal veils all originated as protective measures against malevolent spiritual forces that might otherwise harm the union or render it unproductive.

In the earliest stages of tribal development, unmarried women were considered communal property available to all men of the tribe. The first significant departure from herd promiscuity was the establishment of one-man-at-a-time relationships, where women were limited to a single partner simultaneously while men retained greater sexual freedom. This arrangement, while still permitting men to terminate relationships at will, represented humanity's first crucial step away from herd-like sexual practices toward pair bonding. During this transitional phase, children typically belonged to the mother due to the certainty of maternal lineage in contrast to the uncertainty of paternity.

The next evolutionary step in mating arrangements involved group marriages, which served as an essential transitional phase between promiscuity and more stable family structures. Brother-sister marriages, where five brothers from one family might marry five sisters from another, exemplified this communal approach to family formation. These looser forms of communal marriage gradually evolved into various types of group marriage regulated by totemic customs and tribal traditions. Family life developed slowly but steadily as sexual and marriage regulations favored tribal survival by ensuring the continuation of larger numbers of children. Group marriages eventually gave way to various forms of polygamy, both polygyny (multiple wives) and polyandry (multiple husbands), among more advanced tribal groups.

The institution of polygyny recognized four distinct categories of wives with different statuses and privileges: ceremonial or legal wives who underwent ritual wedding ceremonies; wives of affection and permission who held intermediate status; contractual concubines established through formal agreements; and slave wives acquired through capture or purchase. True polygyny, where all wives maintained equal status with all children equally acknowledged, rarely existed in practice. Most plural marriages were dominated by a head wife or status companion who alone participated in the ritual wedding ceremony and whose children exclusively inherited property unless special arrangements were made. The status wife was not necessarily the love wife, particularly in early times, as the concept of a love-based partnership emerged only after significant advancement and genetic blending of evolutionary tribes with Nodites and Adamites.

Monogamy effectively represents a monopolistic arrangement in sexual relations that significantly benefits those fortunate enough to establish such partnerships while potentially creating biological hardship for those unable to secure suitable mates. Regardless of its differential impact on individuals, monogamous relationships clearly provide the optimal environment for child development and nurturing. The earliest manifestations of monogamy resulted primarily from economic necessity and material scarcity rather than deliberate choice or spiritual aspiration. While monogamy may appear culturally imposed and somewhat artificial to evolutionary humans, it represented the natural and intuitive pattern for the purer Nodites and Adamites, and has contributed immensely to the cultural advancement of all races that adopted this practice.

Several ancient civilizations established precedents for monogamous relationships; the Chaldean tribes recognized a wife's right to impose a premarital pledge upon her spouse prohibiting additional wives or concubines, while both Greek and Roman cultures favored exclusive pairing. Ancestor worship consistently reinforced monogamous practices, as did the Christian misconception of marriage as a sacrament rather than a social contract. By the time of Michael's appearance on Urantia, much of the civilized world had attained at least theoretical acceptance of monogamy, though this passive monogamy did not necessarily indicate that humanity had fully embraced the practice of genuine pair marriage with its accompanying responsibilities and commitments.

While pursuing the monogamic ideal of pair marriage, society must recognize the challenge this arrangement poses for those who fail to secure partners in the competitive social environment. The difficulty of finding compatible mates may stem from insurmountable personal limitations or from restrictive cultural expectations that narrow the field of potential partners. Monogamy unquestionably represents the highest ideal for those fortunate enough to participate in such relationships, but it inevitably creates hardship for those excluded from paired companionship. True pair marriage demands significant self-denial and self-control from both partners, qualities often lacking in individuals poorly prepared for the mutual accommodations required in successful marriages. Despite these challenges, monogamy remains the essential foundation for advancing social civilization beyond mere biological evolution.

In the early evolutionary stages of marital customs, marriage existed as a flexible arrangement that could be terminated at will, with children invariably following the mother due to the instinctive strength of the maternal bond. This mother-child connection has functioned reliably throughout human history, regardless of the developmental stage of cultural customs. Among primitive peoples, only about half of marriages proved satisfactory over the long term, with barrenness, invariably blamed on the wife, serving as the most frequent cause for separation. Under primitive customs, divorce rights belonged exclusively to men, and this gender-based disparity persisted well into the twentieth century among certain cultures.

As social customs evolved, certain tribes developed dual forms of marriage: ordinary unions that permitted divorce and special priest-sanctioned marriages that prohibited separation. The introduction of wife purchase and dowry systems incorporated property penalties for marriage failure, significantly reducing separation rates by adding economic consequences to relationship dissolution. Social pressure related to community standing and property considerations has consistently exerted powerful influence in upholding marriage customs throughout history. Marriage as an institution has made steady progress through the ages and occupies a relatively advanced position in modern society, despite facing serious challenges from the widespread dissatisfaction among progressive peoples where individual choice and personal freedom have recently gained prominence.

The sudden substitution of the idealistic but extremely individualistic love motive for the older and more established property motive has unavoidably destabilized the marriage institution during this transitional period. Throughout history, humanity's marriage motives have consistently transcended actual marriage morals, and in recent centuries, the Occidental ideal of marriage has suddenly outpaced the self-centered and incompletely controlled sexual impulses of many individuals. The continuous intimacy inherent in family life represents the true test of marriage across all ages, presenting particular challenges for pampered and indulged young people expecting constant gratification rather than the self-effacement, compromise, and devotion essential to successful child-rearing and family building. Society's failure to properly educate youth about relationship realities and to provide adequate premarital preparation contributes significantly to divorce rates, which function as necessary safety valves preventing worse social disruptions during periods of rapid moral evolution.

Marriage that culminates in the establishment of a home represents humanity's most exalted institution, though it remains fundamentally human rather than divine in nature. The Sethite priests transformed marriage into a religious ritual, but for thousands of years following the Edenic period, mating continued primarily as a social and civil arrangement rather than a sacred ceremony. The likening of human partnerships to divine associations represents an unfortunate conceptual error that has created significant confusion regarding marriage's essential character. The union of husband and wife in the marriage-home relationship fundamentally constitutes a material function of evolutionary mortals rather than a spiritual sacrament, despite the potential spiritual growth that may result from sincere commitment between partners.

Marriage cannot legitimately be compared to the relationship between the Thought Adjuster and human consciousness, nor to the fraternal bond between Christ Michael and his human brethren, as such divine relationships differ fundamentally from the association between husband and wife. This misconception has unfortunately generated confusion concerning the status of marriage, leading some religious traditions to claim that marriage represents an indissoluble bond regardless of the circumstances or wishes of the contracting parties. The dissolution of unhappy marriages clearly demonstrates that deity does not function as a conjoining party in these human arrangements. Despite these conceptual misunderstandings, an ideal of marriage does exist on the spheres of the local system, where the Material Sons and Daughters model the highest expression of the union between man and woman for procreation and child-rearing.

Marriage has consistently represented humanity's supreme dream of temporal ideality, though this beautiful vision rarely manifests completely in ordinary experience. Nevertheless, this aspirational ideal continues to inspire progressive humanity toward greater efforts to achieve genuine happiness through committed partnership. Young men and women should receive practical education about the realities of marriage before confronting the demanding responsibilities of family life, tempering youthful idealization with realistic preparation for the challenges ahead. This preparation should not discourage the inspirational power of youthful idealism but should balance it with practical understanding of everyday marital requirements. Marriage ideals have progressed remarkably in recent times, with women achieving nearly equal rights with their partners in many societies. The modern concept of marriage extends beyond individual gratification to encompass loyal partnership in child-rearing, accompanied by mutual sexual fidelity and commitment to family welfare.